today when i entered the house of God, i felt His presence.
even if it was just a tiny glimpse.
this whole year even if i was happy or joyful;
it was because of little materialistic things and that joy never lasted.
being in church today helped me realize that i was living a somewhat unfulfilled life.
this whole time it was always about God, never about me or us.
in Him all good and perfect things are found.
Amen.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

i drifted even further away from God, strayed from the righteous path so much more, sinned more and slowly i'm losing faith. situation seems hopeless doesn't it? i was on the verge of giving up.
but when i picked up my camp file and read what i once wrote, i realised that i shouldn't give up living for God in everything because through it all he will never stop loving me and guiding me no matter how many times i fail. i have nothing to lose if i continue trying to live for Him. it may take me a week, 10 or 20 more years or maybe more than that to feel His love again and to regain that desire to live for Him but again i say, I WILL NEVER STOP because i have nothing to lose in simply trying. also i will never give up
simply because He never gives up on me.

my friends, have faith.

frankly, i've not been able to live a very holy life this past few weeks. i've indulged in so much sin, mostly lust. sometimes i really feel like a really big hypocrite. i come to God for forgiveness every time but a few days later or so i start to sin once again. i know in my mind God loves me and all but i just feel so lost and blinded at times and i simply go on to sin. through all my imperfections, God still loves me and always will no matter what i did or do. He never said it was gonna be easy, but He also said he'd be with us throughout. we cannot rely on our own strength because we are weak, we need God. and though sometimes He may punish us for the wrong things we do, but he does so not out of vengeance or that He wants us to be hurt, but so we can learn from these mistakes. that we'd be shaped more like Christ. and though i may still fall and make wrong choices many more times, God will never stop loving me and i believe that with all my heart. though i will be punished, i will not try to avoid or plead my way out but i will accept it for it is so i'd learn and be more like Christ. i'll never stop believing that God plans for me to prosper, learn, be blessed, succeed and most of all to shape me like Christ so i can be that one step closer to Him.